Slap a diaper on me and call me Ghandi (aka: What I have Learned)
"Some things were perfectly clear/Seen with the vision of youth/No doubts and nothing to
fear/I claimed the corner on truth/These days it's harder to say I know what I'm fighting
for/My faith is falling away, I'm not that sure anymore/Shades of grey wherever I go/
The more I find out, the less that I know/Black and white is how it should be/But shades
of grey are the colors I see/...Now with the wisdom of years, I try to reason things out/
And the only people I fear are those who never have doubts/Save us all from arrogant men,
and all the causes they're for/I won't be righteous again, I'm not that sure anymore"
--Billy Joel, Shades of Grey 
I think these lyrics perfectly express the way most people feel as they grow up. The more experience you have, the more you see the world through different eyes. Throughout
my college years, I have been exposed to every nearly every kind of person there is in
this world. These experiences have altered my point of view and taught me many important
lessons, or in the words of Jean Paul: "The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it." Apparently I am not the only one to come up with the following 30 conclusions, as I found many fitting quotes to include as well. I wanted to put down these lessons in writing, because while I have learned these lessons, I don't always remember or follow through on them. So while this page is more for me to refer back to than it is for anyone else, I am more than happy to share it, since I am the smartest (and most modest) person in the whole world. But please realize that these are my current opinions on my life, and while I am a certified genius, I would never want to force my opinions, as brilliant as they are, onto anyone else. With that being said, here is (in no particular order) the Nobel Peace Prize award-winning "Top 30 Lessons April Has Learned About Life":
- Mean people aren't born, but made-
There are a lot of people doing shitty things in this world. However, most people that are doing these bad things are not bad people. Most people who do bad things are good people who are full of pain, anger and fear. People's past influence their future actions more than most people realize. If you recognize this, it makes people's shitty actions still seem shitty, but a little more understandable. **Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven." - Yiddish Proverb**
- Do the things you are scared to do-
You'll either have a really good time or a really good story about how awful it was to
tell at parties! **"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney J. Harris**
- When things suck the most, laugh-
That's really all you can do or you'll implode. **"He who laughs, lasts." - Mary Pettibone Poole** **"Perhaps I know why it is man alone who laughs: He alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter." - Nietzsche** **"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." - Mark Twain** **"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed." - Chamfort
- Book smarts are often overrated-
Book smarts are very different than common sense smarts. You can be genius level book
smart and have not an ounce of common sense. Therefore, while IQ may be a good way to
determine your future success at Jeopardy, it tells quite little regarding how well you
are able to function in response to life's everyday twists and turns. Luckily, I have both! :) **"Education is an admirable thing, but it is as well to remember that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." - Oscar Wilde**
- Hypocrisy sucks-
Don't point fingers at anyone until you take a look at yourself. Are you expecting more
from everyone than you are willing to give? Leaders lead best by example. Be what you
believe. And never say never, or you put youself at risk of becoming a hypocrite. **"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Ghandi**
- God only gives you as much as you can handle-
When things really stink, it's at this time I must remind myself how highly God
thinks of me. What an ego boost! **"Adversity reveals genius; prosperity conceals it." - Horace**
- Find a silver lining, even if you have to look really, really hard-
Looking at negative things in a positive light can help lift your mood. Anything can be
turned positive if you are creative enough. For example, when someone bashed in my car
window and stole some of my stuff, I tried to concentrate on the fact that since I had no
deductible for my insurance, I was going to get a brand new car window for free! (Yes,
it's stupid, but it's all I had!) Besides, the dumbest ideas you come up with can brighten your day if only for the fact that you can see the large extent of your creativity. **"The greatest part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not our circumstances." - Martha Washington** **"Reality can be beaten with enough imagination." - Anon.** **"Imagination is the highest kite one can fly." - Lauren Bacall** **"Life is not always what one wants it to be, but to make the best of it, as it is, is the only way of being happy." -Jennie Jerome Churchill**
- Don't jinx it-
Never say "could my life possibly get any worse," cause it can and it just might if
you say that.
- Give everyone equal benefit of the doubt-
Many people are quick to make excuses when their friends and family do shitty things,
but never stop to try and understand what possible motivations or reasoning lies behind
a strangers actions. Maybe the waiter was a bit snippy because another customer just
chewed him out. No, he shouldn't take it out on you, but that doesn't mean he's evil.
Give a stranger the same benefit of the doubt you would like yourself. **"I must love my enemy. I must apply the same rules to the wrong-doer who is my enemy or a stranger to me, as I would to my wrong-doing father or son." - Ghandi**
- Say the important things now-
Tell people how you feel about them before it's too late. Even things you think are
obvious may not be. And even if they are obvious, they are still nice to hear. **"The most important things to say are those which often I did not think necessary for me to say - because they were too obvious." - Andre Gide** **"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so." - David Grayson**
- Live in the present-
Fear only stems from what happened in the past and what may happen in the future. If
you only live in the present, you can't be scared. For example, people that are
terrified of public speaking are really scared because they are either thinking about
past events that went poorly or the possible future reaction of their audience if they do
poorly this time. Living in the present takes away fear because it is hard to be scared
of the actual walking (to the stage) or forming words (for your speech). **"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." --Buddha**
- Worrying is usually in vain-
Worrying wastes time and energy. Very little in life is truly that important.
In a month, will it even matter? In a year, will you even remember? Things
almost never turn out as badly as you expect they will. So wait until they actually do
before you make yourself sick for no reason. **Worry is interest paid before it's due." -Anon.** **I have spent more time worrying about things that never happened." - Dale Carnegie**
- Spread the word-
Tell people the nice compliments you hear about them. Often they are unaware of how others
feel (refer back to "Say it now"). Hearing it from a second party is almost as good as hearing it from the
actual person. Often, these people will begin to do the same towards you. You both win. **"The sweetest of all sounds is praise." - Xenophon** **Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." - James Barrie**
- Pay it forward-
Similar to the last one, pass on the goodness you receive. Kindness is catching. Oprah
started a kindness chain on her show. If she did something nice for someone, they were
supposed to do something nice for someone else. If you pass on a favor, your good deed
grows exponentially into good deedS. **"If you can't return a favor, pass it on." - Louise Brown**
- Participate in random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty-
Do something nice every day. It can be big, or it can be as little as smiling at someone
or complimenting their shoes. Even the smallest things can greatly brighten someone's
day.
- Act like a child-
See the wonder in simple things. Some things in this world are so magical yet we walk
past without blinking twice. Rediscover the beauty in the everyday.
- Learn how to relax-
Listen to music, watch TV, sleep, color, blow bubbles, sing, do cartwheels - whatever
floats your boat.
- Take the high road-
As Lily Tomlin says "The problem with the rat race is, even if you
win, you're still a rat." Don't fight fire with fire. Two negatives don't make a
positive. Are there any more cliches on this topic that I missed? **"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Martin Luther King Jr.**
- Make a memory-
When life is at its greatest points, take one moment out to make a clear memory. Remember
the sights, the sounds, the smells, the feel. These memories are what can help carry
you through when you are feeling alone.
- Agree to disagree-
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, (regardless of how ridiculous they are!)
Nothing gives you the right to force your opinions on others, or others to try and force
their's on you. Recognize that not everyone sees things from your point of view.
Agreeing to disagree is a valid solution. And diversity is good. **"When all men think alike, no one things very much." - Walter Lippmann**
- Don't limit yourself-
You can do anything you want if you want if you want it badly enough. The only things
that can hold you back are your own doubts. **"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try." - Beverly Sills** **I am the master of my fate/I am the captain of my soul" - William E. Henley** **"My will shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own." - Elaine Maxwell** **"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance." -Bruce Barton**
- Admit when you ARE wrong-
You come across much better if you admit it upfront than if
everyone knows it but you are still making excuses. Then you aren't just wrong, but wrong
and cowardly.
- Admit when you DID something wrong-
If you rightly take the blame when you are responsible, people will always assume your
innocence when you honestly say it wasn't you.
- Learn to listen-
Some can have a conversation for hours yet learn nothing about their
partner because their mind is too tied-up thinking what they are going to say next. **"Oh...I listen a lot and talk less. You can't learn anything when you're talking." - Bing Crosby**
- Try something new-
Learning new things keeps your mind active. You may be surprised by
the unusual things you find exhiliratingly fun. During college, I used my electives to take classes in fiction writing, pottery, band, clarinet, percussion, guitar, piano spanish and volleyball and wrote for the school newspaper. Well-rounded educations are helpful in everyday life.
- Remember the Golden Rule-
While the basis of most organized religions is to 'Love thy neighbour,' a few churches I've come across teach that people with different beliefs are not worthy of God's love. This, to me, seems to be rather hypocritical and not very holy. If the basis of the Bible is the Golden Rule and everyone followed it, the world would be a better place. **"All religion seems to do is divide. I'm really interested in and influenced by the spiritual side of Christianity, rather than the legislative side, the rules and regulations." -- Edge, 1983** **"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." - Dalai Lama** **"Hypocrisy and distortion are passing currents under the name of religion." - Ghandi** **"All God requires from us is to enjoy life and love. That's the whole point." - Paul Simon**
- Communication is the key-
Misunderstandings are responsible for some of the most fatal problems. Saying what you
mean and meaning what you say can do wonders for a relationship.
- Risk it-
Obtaining the best things in the world requires the most risk-taking. While
playing it safe may keep you from being hurt, it also keeps you from being truly happy. **If you don't risk anything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong**
- Everybody is worth knowing-
I believe that everything in life happens for a reason, even if it seems to make no sense
at the time. In turn, I believe every person is put into our path to teach us something.
Deep down inside even the most disagreeable person, there lies some truth and some good.
Those that are patient enough to find these traits are the luckiest people in the
world, for they see all that is good in the world. **"Everybody is worth knowing." - O'Henry**
- Pay cash-
Credit cards are a tool of the devil. Warn others. However, don't be
surprised if it takes a first hand experience before the lesson is learned. I, too, was
warned once... :) **"Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into." - Josh Billings** **"He who goeth a borrowing/ Goeth a sorrowing."**
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